Thursday, September 15, 2011

A Rough Draft Opening To A Novel


The boy lay curled on the ground in agony, pain throbbing through his veins, his head and his body. The hard cobbled alley seemed to bite into his very soul. The stench of decaying rubbish and putrid refuse strangely enhanced the horrible feelings. He tried to open his eyes but the bright noonday sun forced them shut. Ral help me, the boy thought. I will never do that… A sharp kick stopped his prayer abruptly.

"Boy, get up!" A gruff voice pounded in his pained head. The boy didn't move. Another kick. "Faldamnit, get up, Akina! Stand and see!" Akina, the boy thought, is that my name? He cracked his eyes open to see, to try at least. The sharp light of the sun stabbed needles into his eyes. He started to close them again. Begging, wishing for sleep that had eluded him all night because of that Faldamn dung he'd been…
"Keep 'em open, Boy. Ral's Light what have you been doing Akina?" The voice asked. That name again, the boy thought, why does he keep calling me that? Am I him? Who am I if not?

He forced his eyes open, despite the pain, and the face that he saw shocked him to realization. He climbed to his feet as quickly as he could manage and positioned himself in a rigid stance, arms straight and flat against his side, hands balled in tight fists. Pain still bloomed within him however, he was disciplined enough to ignore it. For now.

"That Faldamn poisonous junk ain't it, Akina?" The man, Teka was his name, said quietly as he inspected the boy's eyes and lifted his lips, looking closely at red and white splotchy gums. 
"Stop Teka; it is." Akina said quietly while holding the large man's black eyes coldly. "It is time then?"
"Yes, Akina, why else would I be here? Your father is awaiting you in Bane's Glade." Teka replied stepping away from the boy yet still eyeing him up and down.
"Then we ride, Spearmen. And you will refer to me as you always have and not 'boy'. Do you understand me, Teka?" Akina said with a strong voice - a leader's voice - despite the pulsing pain coursing throughout his body.
"Perfectly, my Lord. I was only…"
"Save your words Teka" - Akina paused to choke down bile -" I am in no mood to hear any more. Let us leave this place. Where are the horses?"